8.30.2012

Trust

Trust [truhst}, noun; reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. Confident expectation of something; hope. A person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.


For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with having the right mindset during a race. Through most of my life, the races were short enough (less than 1 min) that I was able to get by without much of a struggle. As I've ventured into endurance racing, it has become increasingly difficult to quiet the nay-sayers in my head!

After a recent Mental Skills session, I felt confident that I was now equipped with all the tools I needed to conquer my own demons. After about a week of going over everything (15+ pages of notes) and practicing what I'm going to say to myself and what to focus on, etc, etc. It all comes down to one simple concept. Trust. Which is a relief, because I had no idea how I was going to memorize 15 pages!

Trust my training. Trust my coach. Trust myself.

Of course I DO trust in these things, but during a race, I usually start to question everything and my trust turns into what-ifs, which is exactly the time when I start to feel tense and anxious (and slow down). Obviously NOT a coincidence! Recently I have really been trying to live by my new definition of "trust" and it's been incredible.  It wasn't until I had it all lined out and really looked at all the things that trouble me; self confidence, self efficacy, fear of failure, fear of success, being able to overcome negative thoughts, being in control of my positive mental attitude, belief in my ability, focusing on the moment at hand, believing in my amazing support team, etc., doesn't trust conquer them all?!
Yes.

That said, it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I catch myself ALL THE TIME, questioning everything I've done in preparation for my upcoming race.  Before every race, small or big, I have fought a battle against my trust, not feeling as if I had any control over what was going on inside me. Now I know I do.

I choose to embrace it, I'm tired of fighting. 
Instead, I'm going to give myself a big Sar-Bear Hug of TRUST.