Pretty big deal

This past Saturday, I passed up the opportunity to do a local race with a lot of my friends to head down to Hermiston, OR by myself to run a 10k. Many of you might question my judgment, but I assure you it was worth it! For the past 2 years, my training has indicated that I am capable of running a 10k well-under 40 minutes, but mentally I was not quite there. Knowing I could do it, was not enough (it never really is), I had to prove it to myself. The week leading up to the run my legs felt tight, sore and tired...FLAT! As Saturday drew near, I had to force myself to keep my head up because my knee-jerk reaction for so long has been to hang my head in defeat before the race even starts. Not this time. Even if it was forced, I was not about to let myself out of this one. I'm not usually a believer in this theory, but I had to fake it to make it.


The race was off to a quick start with the lead runners out well below 5:30 pace, I knew to just hang back unlike my usual self and it paid off. I was able to hang just behind the lead runners for the first 5k. It was awesome! I came thru just under my 5k PR (18:46) and felt great! Not too long after that is when the discomfort set in. My legs started to get heavy, breathing was definitely more labored and my pace started to slow. No big deal, I told myself, this run isn't over yet. As I came down from the little climb, I felt great and accelerated for about 100 meters. Then another little rise, and at the top I could no longer see the leaders. PANIC set in a little bit. I told myself to chill out, keep going. DO NOT give up on yourself. Forget about the leaders and focus on your form, lean forward and quicken your turnover. Ok, ok, I can do this. But that was when the "what ifs" set in, "what if" I'm just never supposed to break 40 minutes..."what if" this IS where I belong..."what if"..."what if"..."what if"...UGH i hate that place! I was stuck in the "what ifs" for what felt like an eternity...and I was afraid to look at my watch to see what was really happening to me. Finally I looked. WHAT!? My average pace had slipped off my initial goal, but was well within coming in under 40 minutes. All that hard work IS paying off! Not to say it didn't hurt, but I picked up my pace and ran it in HARD! As I passed the clock it ready 39:09...I could hardly believe it!!! I crushed it!!! My official time was a little off @ 39:19...but it's all the same at this point.

Do I think I have it in me to go faster? Absolutely. Am I disappointed with my race? A little that I wasted so much time questioning myself, but not with my time. That said, I was able to overcome that doubt - and that is what I'm most proud of!

Usually when I get to that place, there is no coming back...at that point I had in the past let myself back off so that I wouldn't have to face the unknown...I wouldn't have to, because I knew I was in control of NOT achieving my goal. In the past, I wouldn't lay myself on the line because I was terrified that I wouldn't be enough. I have to tell you, it's way better to go for it, even if you lose! Breaking that barrier was a huge accomplishment for me, I feel so incredibly FREE! Thank you to everyone who helped me get there!

As for the race, I placed 2nd...to another girl! The only race I've ever done where the top 2 overall winners were WOMEN!!!

Thank you for reading!

Up next: Onion Man :)

Update

Recently I have had too many inspirational topics to pick one...so while I'm letting them sit and grow a little, I thought I'd give a plain old update. I am not the type of person that can just race, race, race, and race some more. I get exhausted, worn down and sick. April is the first time I have ever successfully completed 3 races in a month.


The first was the ACSD, in Wenatchee. Beautiful! It was a great race and a perfect day. Other than my ridiculously long transitions, I was very happy with my race.

Second was Rage in the Sage. The first of a series of 6 local multi-sport events. This race was a perfect follow-up. The course was a little shorter, but off-road and a tiny bit hillier on the run. Because this race is so short, I usually don't even worry about it...and every time I think, geez that race HARD! My focus this year has been on running and swimming, so I was very pleased that my runs we're faster and felt better, the first one was actually just under 6min pace! I was still able to hold my own on the bike too, whew! When I say it was "off-road" that doesn't mean technical, it's on service roads thru the vineyards at Kiona Winery. Yes, you guessed it, that means they actually give away wine :) winning a bottle of wine makes all that pain bearable!! Thank you Kiona!

The following weekend was the first 1/2 marathon in 7 or 8 years. Since I hadn't done one in so long, I had nothing to gauge off of, but I was very pleased finishing second behind Marlene Ferrell, an Olympic trials qualifier for the marathon, and just off my goal time. My body and mind were basically finished at the 10k mark (which I ran at my 10-k PR pace), and it took me about 3 miles to talk myself back into the race. Other than losing a lot of time in those 3 miles, I thought the race was great, and it was yet another perfect day in the NW!

It's been 2 1/2 weeks since then, and I've spent most of that time mentally recovering and preparing for the real race season to begin. Because we are blessed with so much snow in the NW, our open-water races don't start until Memorial Day weekend...which is only a couple weeks away! YAY!!

I guess that means it's time to bust out my wet-suit and inspect for holes!

Only a couple weeks after that is my first "A" race of the season, which is so hard to believe! Really? I'm ready already? Really.

Well, there is just one more obstacle in the way...a 10k.  I have been stuck at a certain time for the past 2 years, and even though I've improved dramatically...both physically and mentally I have yet to prove it in an actual race.  This weekend I get another shot at it :) 

Here's to a great 2012...it is, after-all, the year of YES!

HEART-Y

Someone asked my why, after years of racing, I still get nervous. 
First, let's take a look at the definition of nervous.
NERVOUS: highly excitable; unnaturally or acutely uneasy or apprehensive: to become nervous under stress. Of or pertaining to the nerves; nervous tension.  Characterized by or attended with acute uneasiness or apprehension: a nervous moment for us all.  Vigorous or spirited.

Keeping all those things in mind, I came up with a long list lot of stressors that run thru my mind contributing to my nerves before races...or should we say "vigorous spirit" - ha!
After weighing all the facotors involed, the thing that makes me feel nervous is racing with my heart.  Above all else, I put myself on the line.  In life, I hold myself back a lot, afraid of what everyone will think of me When I race, there are no curtains to hide behind.  Just me out there truely testing myself, fully emotionally exposed.  It's a little scary, but as I let myself be free to chase my dreams, I know that I need to rely on my heart to carry me.  The more I expose my heart thru racing, the more I embrace my true self - it's like therapy...only much more expensive!! 
I know my heart is strong, but it's the kind of strength that can only be tested by faith, not tangible or quantifiable measurements.  How I feel about my race afterwards, honestly has very little to do with the result, but more about how I carried my self during the race. Did I believe in myself?  Did I believe in my training?  Did I believe in all the people that believe in me?  Did I allow myself to feed off the energy of the event and everyone around me?  In otherwords, was I couragous enough to race with my heart wide open?  Or was I too afraid of getting hurt? 
As I venture off to my 3rd weekend in a row of racing, I carry my heart with me.  So yes, I might be nervous, and a little tight and tired, but that's all okay - my heart will show me the way!!!

1st multi-sport race 2012

Considering weather patterns in the NW in April are relatively unstable, this first race is always questionable.  In fact, I have only ever started this race once before and ended up dropping out because I could not stop shivering when I got off my bike.  Lucky for me, this weekend was exceptionally beautiful!
I'm not a huge fan of duathlons, but none-the-less I was very excited!  It was also exciting to be in Wenatchee, I adore that town and all the people there!  The turnout was a little less than what I was expecting, especially considering the weather, but the competition was fierce!!  We headed out on the first run and by the time we got to the turn around, I realized the course was much hillier than I remembered!  Despite the little hills, I felt strong and smooth, coming in 4th I think.
My transition was terrible!  Note to self, PRACTICE!!  Once I was finally on my bike I marked my first target.  After a while of chasing, I realized I was never going to catch that guy and my strategy turned into just hanging on and to not let anyone pass me.  For the first 1/3 of the bike, my legs were on fire and I didn't feel comfortable until the last 1/3 or so, and by then I felt unstoppable!  The only thing bad about ending my bike leg on a good note, was it made me dread the upcoming run.

No biggie, just 3 more miles of running, woof!  I felt pretty good after about the 1st mile, then by the start of mile 3 I tried to push it a bit to see if I could pass someone and my hamstrings felt like they were on the verge of cramping.  So again, I backed off a bit realizing I didn't really need to push it that hard on the first race of the season.  Of course, I knew the person behind me was running very strong, so I couldn't exactly back off either.  Before I knew it the race was over and I ended up 3rd overall (including guys), which was my goal - yay!
I couldn't have asked for a better start to the season!
My thanks go out to everyone that put on the Apple Capital Spring Duathlon, all the participants, my Mom and Jeff for the wonderful pre-race meal and undying support, SET Coaching (my coach),  Wenatchee and all my friends and family for supporting me ALL the time!

NEVER QUIT

I've never considered myself a quitter.  If I have my mind set on something, there are very few things that will slow me down, let alone deter my course.  That said, it's not always easy.
People ask me all the time if I have always been active.  By-and-large, yes. But it's not just because it's habit our routine, it's because of how it makes me feel.  I know that nearly 100% of the time I will feel better afterwards, and that is what gets me out the door.  If I'm not having a good day or just don't have much energy, I make a deal with myself to at least do my planned warm-up and if I'm not feeling better then I probably wouldn't get much out of a workout anyway and I can turn around and go home.  Do you know how many times I've turned around?  Only once that I can remember.
Yes, I can usually muster up the courage to get out the door.  But that's not always the hard part.
Sometimes the hard thing for me is not feeling 100% once I'm already 1/2 way thru a workout and finding the strength to keep going.  Training for endurance events gives me a lot of alone time with my thoughts (scary).  Last week I was in the middle of a good "swim focus week" and during one of my workouts my pace seemed nearly impossible to hold on to, but I wasn't slowing down.  Learning from some experiences this past year, I told myself to "relax", "not every day is going to be perfect" and "just being there shows I am not a quitter and there is no way I'm letting myself get out of the pool defeated".  So, I swam.  As the set went on, it just felt harder.  Finally, the last 2 x 100s were my fastest of the day!  Ha!  Just think, if I would have quit, I never would have had that victory!
Yet again today, I was faced with a massive obstacle.  Head wind.  As I headed out on my 3 1/2 hour ride, I knew that I felt WAY too good going up hill and I would pay for it as soon as I turned around.  Sure enough, I turned around and it felt like I was spinning in place!  I told myself there has to be a lesson in this.  So, I put my phone away and kept spinning, knowing that I could not waste precious energy on frustration or I could likely never get home.  It ended up taking me about the same amount of time to get back, which left me about 1/2 hour left...and I was starving.  NO Sarah, now is not the time to give up!  Ok, ok.  I took 2 bites of my Powerbar and headed out on a short loop around my house...that I just rode by (ugh).  Still pushing hard into the headwind, I was feeling like I had not made a very good choice.  Finally, the last 10 minutes I actually found a tail wind again!! AND wouldn't you know it, the SUN came out.  WHAT!?!?  Thank you guardian angels!
Even though I never did quit, sometimes I do question if all this training is worth it.  I believe it is.
Believe in yourself.  Don't panic if things aren't going your way.  Most of all, don't give up on yourself or you will never know what you are capable of.

Don't be me.

At one point or another, I think all or most of us, have looked at someone else and thought, why can't I be more like "them"!?!?  I knew these thoughts had power over me for a long time, but I didn't realize how powerful they were until someone said them to me. 
I was encouraging someone who seemed very excited to talk about triathlon, to actually do one, and they said they didn't want to because they knew they would never be like me.  My response caught me off guard, I was insulted.  They had discounted what I was saying, something I do all the time.  Ouch!
I truly believed they were MORE than capable of doing exactly what I said they could do.  I believed they were capable of MORE than they may ever know.  I don't encourage people to do things so they can be like me, I want them to know I believe in them. 
Believe people when they believe in you.

 

The most unexpected places

I have a lot of usual places that I look for inspiration. It's mostly calculated, I know when I need an extra boost and I know where I can look to find it. The past few weeks, I have had unexpected inspiration. The first came after I completed a small local 5k that I was using as a test to see where I was at. Though I had set a :51 PR, I actually missed my goal by :15. Instead of celebrating, i let myself fall into an old habit of beating myself up. As I was ranting quietly inside my head, a man came up to congratulate me on my run (1st female, 2nd overall). He had caught me at very vulnerable place and I had to practically choke back my tears to respond. After we chatted for a minute, packed up and headed to the pool. What was probably an insignificant conversation to him, had not only lifted my spirits, but filled my running shoes with hope. Fast forward 1 week. It was Saturday again, but this time I was in the pool doing a super hard swim on my own. Afterwards, I was readying myself to go run while deep in self analysis mode thinking about my swim, when another woman in the locker room startled me. We talked about triathlon for a minute before she had to take off for work. Before she left, she said, "by the way, you're a good, no great swimmer." I would have settled for good! Since then, it's almost like the water actually feels different. It is. These conversations will probably never be recalled by those two people, but will forever have a place in my heart. Be that unexpected inspiration to someone, even if you think it's not that important. I can assure you, it is.