CROSS '12

For most triathletes, the off-season is spent recuperating. Time spent regenerating, resting and being kind to their bodies that worked SO hard all year long. I do that too, but first I have to get in a few good cross races! Admittedly I use the term "race" loosely. Sure, it's a good effort for most of the 1 hour out there, but by no means do I put it all on the line. Most of the reason I go is for the atmosphere, spending some quality time with friends and to get in a workout w/o having to think about it. Most of the time on the course, I'm focusing on things so far out of my comfort zone that I can forget it is an actual race. It's a good thing there are lots of "fans" to remind me of when I do something stupid, that it IS a race and I should be going harder. I love cyclocross fans, they're so honest. The fact that the beer starts flowing around 9am might contribute to their honest, fun loving nature :)

The season started on October 7th, with Cross Crusade #1, Alpenrose Dairy. Usually this race coincided with Hood River Hops Fest, but I was thankful to have a whole week to recover before jumping back on the saddle! Alpenrose is generally the biggest race of the series, mostly because it's the first one. This year did not disappoint! We even had personal fans this time! Ryan's Dad came all the way from Idaho Falls, and my Dad and Brother were able to make it as well! For me, the race was kind of ..eeeh. The course is pretty technical, which does NOT play well to my strengths. Technical and super bumpy, left me feeling discouraged and a little discombobulated. Not to mention it was hot and dusty, leaving me extremely thirsty! I am not usually a big soda fan, but Ryan's Dad bought us some Coke's after the race and it was the BEST THING EVER! I finished almost exactly mid-pack, and happy to be alive.

Cross Crusade #2, Rainier High School. Out of all the courses, this one is definitely my favorite - yay for hills! The day was typical Oregon coast fall weather, a little cloudy, a little drizzly and a whole lot misty. It felt so refreshing! I had a horrible start position, but found a good hole at the beginning and was able to work my way up to top 10. The girls I hung with were the perfect balance for me. I was a little stronger climbing and thru some of the technical sections, but they pushed me on all the gradual and flat sections. The race ends on a climb, and I tactially set myself up for a sprint finish, swinging around another girl just before the finish line. I did get a little too anxious and went too soon, but was still able to hold her off - whew!

Ryan and I had scheduled in a "break" for the following weekend, but were persuaded by some friends to race again. Though I am exhausted...there really isn't much I would rather do with a fall day! Heading into cyclocross season, we always intend on being under full control of the season and what races we do...but the fever is nearly impossible to avoid. Before we know what happened, we inevitably spend 7 weekends in a row, driving at least 7 hours per weekend to participate in cyclocross. More specifically, Cross Crusade.

Cross Crusade #3, PIR Heron Lakes. In the few years I've done Cross Crusade, I have yet to do this course. It was a blast!! My legs did not want to give me much, so I just accepted what they could give me...for the most part. I did make them suffer a little bit...but was mostly nice :) I had a great starting position, but squandered it by not being able to clip in right away and missed a good hole. Anyway, I worked to get up to the second group of girls, and stayed with them for most of the race. There were some nice open sections that were perfect for picking up a draft when the "A" men would pass, but the rest of it was a little slow going thru mud and gravel. Though it didn't have any real significant climbs, it was a good mix of terrain which kept it fun and interesting. I didn't quite finish as well as I did at Rainier, but am not too disappointed with my finish of 13th place...after-all 13 is my lucky number :)


This last weekend, we missed the Cross-Crusade double header in Bend, OR for a trip to San Diego and a USATriathlon Coaching Certification Clinic!!  It means a lot that Ryan would give up a weekend of Cross racing to be my moral support person and travel buddy..it made all the difference! 

5 TRENDS FOR FALL

I'm sick if being bombarded with new fashion trends for fall, for a couple of reasons.  #1, I'm on a budget.  #2, I think we would be a lot better off if we spent more time on content that matters than browsing the internet for cute clothes and sweet deals.

These trends are not for the weak, but I wouldn’t share them if I didn’t think you could do it. Please don't follow these trends because I told you to. Do it for yourself.


1. Follow your heart and start living the life of your dreams.

2. Stop following what's trendy and find what's more authentically you.

3. Do something that scares you. Today.

4. Start believing you are worth it.

5. Set a goal that is going to push you beyond your comfort zone, and say it out loud. Every day.

I didn't say it was going to be easy. But it will be worth it.

Trust me.

Love,

Sarah

EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

I have been struck by a flood of inspiration today, and as I went to write this, I decided to take a look at the news. Out of all the articles I read through, the one I can't get out of my mind is Nicole Sherzinger speaking out about her bulimia. For the past few hours, my good mood, filled with hope and inspiration has had a dark cloud over it, that I just can't shake. I don't know Nicole personally, but I can't help but feel heartbroken.

It's interesting that Nicole is a person so publicly celebrated for her beauty, yet for some time, all she could focus on was the distorted self perception that she faced every time she looked in the mirror.

As I was reading it, I was struck by a memory I have of when I really started to turn the corner with my eating disorder. Sure, I had been "eating" and had recovered to a more "healthy weight", but hadn't really done any of the work to recover. I was looking through pictures of a race, and I came across someone running and said, "Wow, I wish I had legs like that!". The person that I was with just gave me this funny look and said, "Um, that IS you."

Ha, ha...oh....REALLY?!?! You mean, I was punishing myself everyday...working out, restricting calories, hiding in baggy clothes, telling myself very awful things over and over...so that I could be what? The person that I already was. I was hiding behind what seemed like an infinite wall of shame and self-hatred on a journey that ultimately lead me to see that I already was the person I nearly killed myself trying to be.
Now, the tricky part is accepting that...we'll save that for a different day.
Sure, I'm no Nicole Sherzinger, but do you see the point?

What if we all had the opportunity to actually see ourselves for what we really are? Would we be impressed? Do yourself a favor. Today, I want you to block your mind of all the things you have yet to accomplish. I want you to sit down and write all the things you HAVE accomplished, all the goals you've achieved, all the fears you've conquered. Write those down on a list and post it right next to your mirror, and smile. Go ahead, I dare you. And when you achieve your next goal, ad it to the list. You are more beautiful, more kind, more smart, more wonderful than you have ever given yourself credit for.

Start seeing yourself for who you really are, see what the world already sees in you.

FACING FEAR

Even though it would appear that I face fear all the time, in reality I train so I have confidence in what I do and not have to face fear on a regular basis. This has prepared me to be able to set goals and come up with a plan to work towards them. Life, on the other hand, does not always allow for planning time. On a daily basis, we are faced with course changing decisions, whether we are aware of them or not.


Some of the choices are not difficult, but sometimes they stop us dead in our tracks. Sometimes something stops us mid-way as if to say, "are you sure?"

Recently I was faced with an "are you sure?" moment. And I'm not going to lie to you, it was hard. So hard it took me days (6 days to be exact), to be ready to move forward. I went back and forth, analyzing every angle and direction, I even made a spread sheet. Needless to say, I didn't really need to do all that, because what my heart was saying wouldn't change. It didn't change. Sometimes no matter how much analysis you throw at an equation, the right solution may not follow any logic at all.  That doesn't make it any less right.

And as I sat and looked at all my daily inspirations, I was confident in my decision and empowered that I had, in fact, faced my fears.

IN NEED OF MUD THERAPY

It's now been a few long, emotionally torturous days since IM 70.3 Vegas. Yes, I'm glad I finished the race and relatively proud of my performance, but it has been tough to swallow how far off my goals I was. Even worse to accept was that it was essentially all my fault and could have been avoided. Awesome. Mentally, I was more prepared than any race I had ever done. I felt confident in my training and my ability. I trusted everything, except when a little voice told me something wasn't right.


Here's how the day went.

Wake-up 3:50am. I felt pretty good and was amazed that I was actually able to fall asleep that night! I wolfed down some breakfast and Ryan and I headed out the race start. It was strange getting ready for a race that I didn't even need warm-up clothes! Needless to say, it was pretty easy to get ready.

Once I got to T-1 and the swim start, I filled up my tires and water bottles, covered myself in body glide and tried to stay calm. There was quite a bit of waiting and not much to do, so I decided to hang out by the pros a little. By the time my wave was in the water, the lead pro men and women were already exiting the swim, which was pretty cool. I have to say, I'm glad I didn't have a helicopter flying over my head the whole time, but I'm sure it made for some great film footage! The water was murky, smelly and 83 degrees. Damn, I wish I wasn't so used to clear, crisp mountain water! The swim was a little brutal, I've never been pulled on so much in my life! Other than that, it was a typical swim...it took forever because I was slow!

Anyway, I quickly made it thru T-1 and was on the road! The ride was amazing! I loved it :)
But something just didn't seem right. I knew I should have been faster than the people I was around, but I just couldn't drop them. I looked at my tires to see if they were flat, and they looked fine, so I just kept plugging away. By the time I got to T-2, I was a good 20 minutes off my goal...huh. No idea how that is possible, I felt like I was riding pretty hard.

As I headed out on the run, I can't even describe how I felt...but it was NOT awesome. My legs felt like they were going to buckle, I had no power. I was toast. OMG, really? I had done all that training to get to Vegas and my legs have nothing? Something wasn't right, but all I needed to do at that point was not worry too much about it and just try to keep going. Forward. I saw my family as I headed out and tried to keep my head up, but by the time I saw them again 1/2 way thru the first loop, I broke down in tears. Ryan was trying to be positive and motivating, but I couldn't handle it. I knew if I looked at anyone resembling comfort I would want to hug them and never let go. I felt weak, but I didn't want to quit. So, I kept my head down and kept plugging away, hoping I would feel better. I ended up walking all the aid stations, yes ALL the aid stations. And yes it was hot, over 100 degrees, but I don't think I noticed the heat at all on the run. I just couldn't figure out what had happened to me. Thankfully I finished the run, more than 20 minutes off my run goal. Crap.

So, I had a bad race. It just didn't feel right, something wasn't adding up. Then later, when I grabbed my bike to start packing it, I tried to spin the rear wheel. URCH! URCH! What the....? My brake was rubbing so bad I couldn't even spin the wheel. My stomach sank. That would explain everything. Why I was working SO hard on the bike to come in so far off my goal...and then had NOTHING left for the run.

Great. So that voice who told me to quickly run thru my gears and everything 10 seconds before transition closed knew what they were talking about. And that voice that said something wasn't right while I was out on the bike course, knew what they were talking about. The only voice I wasn't listening to was my own. Lesson learned. Why do I always have to do things the hard way?!?!?! UGH!!

A BIG thank you to all my supporters. Ryan <3 all="all" and="and" base="base" believe="believe" best="best" bobby="bobby" brooks="brooks" brother="brother" clif="clif" coach="coach" coaching="coaching" dad="dad" efficiently="efficiently" ever.="ever." family="family" for="for" friends="friends" game.="game." gear="gear" globe="globe" happy="happy" helped="helped" i="i" it="it" izumi="izumi" jason="jason" jeff="jeff" jerbear="jerbear" josh="josh" luna="luna" made="made" mcgee="mcgee" me="me" mental="mental" mom="mom" more="more" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" nephew="nephew" nieces="nieces" nike="nike" not="not" nuun="nuun" on="on" or="or" out="out" over="over" pearl="pearl" performance="performance" polar="polar" racing:="racing:" rcx5="rcx5" rely="rely" run="run" sister-in-law="sister-in-law" sort="sort" specialized="specialized" step-dad="step-dad" supportive="supportive" thanks="thanks" the="the" to="to" training="training" tri-cities="tri-cities" trip="trip" tyr="tyr" vegas.="vegas." water.="water." wenatchee="wenatchee" who="who" zipp="zipp">
I could not be more ready for some good MUD therapy! Bring on Cylcoross! But first - Hood River Hops Fest :)

Trust

Trust [truhst}, noun; reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. Confident expectation of something; hope. A person on whom or thing on which one relies: God is my trust.


For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with having the right mindset during a race. Through most of my life, the races were short enough (less than 1 min) that I was able to get by without much of a struggle. As I've ventured into endurance racing, it has become increasingly difficult to quiet the nay-sayers in my head!

After a recent Mental Skills session, I felt confident that I was now equipped with all the tools I needed to conquer my own demons. After about a week of going over everything (15+ pages of notes) and practicing what I'm going to say to myself and what to focus on, etc, etc. It all comes down to one simple concept. Trust. Which is a relief, because I had no idea how I was going to memorize 15 pages!

Trust my training. Trust my coach. Trust myself.

Of course I DO trust in these things, but during a race, I usually start to question everything and my trust turns into what-ifs, which is exactly the time when I start to feel tense and anxious (and slow down). Obviously NOT a coincidence! Recently I have really been trying to live by my new definition of "trust" and it's been incredible.  It wasn't until I had it all lined out and really looked at all the things that trouble me; self confidence, self efficacy, fear of failure, fear of success, being able to overcome negative thoughts, being in control of my positive mental attitude, belief in my ability, focusing on the moment at hand, believing in my amazing support team, etc., doesn't trust conquer them all?!
Yes.

That said, it's not as easy as I thought it would be. I catch myself ALL THE TIME, questioning everything I've done in preparation for my upcoming race.  Before every race, small or big, I have fought a battle against my trust, not feeling as if I had any control over what was going on inside me. Now I know I do.

I choose to embrace it, I'm tired of fighting. 
Instead, I'm going to give myself a big Sar-Bear Hug of TRUST.

IM BOISE 29.3

Preparing for this race proved to be a little more challenging than I had anticipated. My training was absolutely stellar...up until about 11 days before the race. I had one of the best training rides ever on May 29th, but lack of sleep and stress caused my body to go into an absolute tail-spin! I was tight and fatigued up until a few days before the race. I knew I had done the training for it, so I kept my focus on the moment at hand and tried not to stress at all about what I might feel like on race day. It felt like it took forever, but I eventually shook out most of the tightness and fatigue, but the mental and emotional fatigue were threatening to overcome me at any moment. At one point I wrote a note to myself..."Now is not the time to give up on yourself. It might feel like the only way out - but you are stronger than that and can overcome what's in front of you. No second guessing and no looking back. All in - ALL-HANDS-ON-DECK"

By Friday I was feeling calm and collected, but there was still a lot to get done before I was ready for Boise 70.3. As the week progressed, Saturday's forecast kept getting worse. By Friday the forecast showed temps from 45-57, 70% chance of rain and a "wind advisory" of 25-30 mph sustained winds with gusts up to 50 mph. The Tri Cities is very windy, so I ride in it all the time, but 20-25mps is my absolute MAX. This was SO FAR out of my comfort zone I honestly had no idea how to process it. The only thing I could control was what wheels I put on my bike, so I opted for a 404 on the rear and a standard aluminum wheel on the front. I added embrocation, a vest, arm warmers and gloves to my usual bike attire and stuck with my plan on everything else.

As we arrived to Lucky Peak Lake 2 1/2 hours before my scheduled wave start, it was raining pretty good and about 45 degrees. Ryan (iron sherpa/saint) helped me hike my gear up to the Lake and I got everything situated. As I was in line for the bathroom trying not to shiver all the energy out of me, the announcer proclaimed a course change. My first thought was PLEASE don't make us get into the lake, the temp had dropped a few degrees from the day before and was now between 54-57 degrees :( WHAT?!?! Then the worse news I could imagine - the bike course had been cut significantly, from 56 miles to "about 15" due to driving rain, snow and 50mph wind. The bike is my absolute favorite part of racing. This news just added to being BEYOND my comfort zone, all I could do was laugh. For some reason, I never even thought about dropping out...maybe because I had spent a LOT of money for this "experience". The constant stream of athletes leaving the lake shocked me, I couldn't believe it...we're triathletes! Someone told me they were leaving because the couldn't stay warm...I offered them some warming oil, and they just looked at me like a freak! It was either the warming oil comment, or the fact that I was jogging in my wetsuit w/ a coat over it and a hat. For a second I even thought it would be a good idea to bike in my wetsuit (apparently I wasn’t the only one, at least 12 people were spotted biking in wetsuits, including champ Matty Reed). As we were being corralled to the start, I saw people already being dragged in from the swim, shivering uncontrollably. Way beyond out of my comfort zone.

DEEP BREATH. I thought the water would feel warm compared to the air temp, but it did NOT! I don't know why I never considered dropping out of this race, but I knew it was something I was supposed to be doing.

The swim not a very good experience. I could not get comfortable and never found a rhythm at all. I just tried to keep moving forward, one buoy at a time. There was supposed to have been a "warming tent" with propane heaters, but I never saw it :( I just kept running to the wetsuit strippers - which I was very excited about. I sat down stuck my feet up and was basically drug around the turf by my feet until finally my wet suit slipped off. It was not fun, or fast. I hustled to get my bike gear and opted for just vest and gloves, but I would put my gloves on as I rode so my hands could dry a bit...obviously I was thinking clearly!

I slowly rode over the dam and was able to slip my gloves on in between speed bumps, and off I went! The ride was very fast and loaded with traffic. I was worried about a blocking violation since I spent the whole ride on the left, but I never once saw an official – whew! Even though I knew it was short, I thought I should probably not all out sprint the bike because a 1/2 marathon is still pretty long and I needed to have a decent run. The last time I ate was about 6 hours previous, and the citrus Clif shot in my pocket was calling to me, but between the cold, wet roads, passing people and breathing hard, I was only able to choke down about 1/2 of it. Somehow I managed to have the 2nd fastest bike - my only guess is that everyone must have been saving up for the run.

On a side note, the poor spectators that patiently hung out in the cold/rain/wind all morning, worrying about their athletes becomming hypothermic; had planned on having 2.5 hours to get down to the run course, now had to madly rush down to town along with the hundreds of racers packing up in 1/2 hour...as if spectating wasn't stressful enough!!
Transition was a little slower than I would have liked, but it wasn't long before I was off an running. I knew my tendency is to go out too hard, so I held back to a pace I felt was comfortable and not as hard as I could go. Something happened to my GPS so I was just going off of "feel", and I felt really good. On the run, it was as if the first part of the race had never happened. The sun was out, hardly any wind and everyone was smiling. I tried to shift gears every 3-4 miles, but by mile 12 I could NOT kick...which is not like me at all. Suddenly my legs were starting to cramp up..eeek! RELAX, relax, relax. And just then a girl in my AG passed me - good, I'll stick with her and out sprint her...ummmm, ok...or not. My legs had other plans, so I just went with it and was happy to finish still running and smiling - woohoo!!! Considering everything, I managed to PR in all 3 ;) disciplines. Even though the swim ended up being more significant than the bike - I managed to eek out a 4th in my AG and 17th over-all female, and a spot to 70.3 Worlds!  

It was definitely an unconventional race (29.3) - certainly not a combination I would have willingly signed up for, but I am so glad I did it :) I know there's no way I could have done it w/o the support of so many people - my entire loving and supportive family, Ryan and his family, my coach, friends, co-workers and community, not to mention the Boise 70.3 team. It was an amazingly well run event and so much fun – this will not be my last IM 70.3 experience!

Race day nutrition:
7:30am - blueberry bagel w/ almond butter and honey
8:30am - 1 Ensure
9:30-10:20am - 2 scoops carbo pro + nuun
12:25pm - 1 Chocolate Cherry Clif Shot
12:39 - swim start
Bike - 1/2 citrus clif shot, swallow of water
Run - 1 citrus clif shot and 1 PB Gu, plus a sip of cola

More pictures to come.

Onward,

Sarah :)