It's now been a few long, emotionally torturous days since IM 70.3 Vegas. Yes, I'm glad I finished the race and relatively proud of my performance, but it has been tough to swallow how far off my goals I was. Even worse to accept was that it was essentially all my fault and could have been avoided. Awesome. Mentally, I was more prepared than any race I had ever done. I felt confident in my training and my ability. I trusted everything, except when a little voice told me something wasn't right.

Here's how the day went.

Wake-up 3:50am. I felt pretty good and was amazed that I was actually able to fall asleep that night! I wolfed down some breakfast and Ryan and I headed out the race start. It was strange getting ready for a race that I didn't even need warm-up clothes! Needless to say, it was pretty easy to get ready.

Once I got to T-1 and the swim start, I filled up my tires and water bottles, covered myself in body glide and tried to stay calm. There was quite a bit of waiting and not much to do, so I decided to hang out by the pros a little. By the time my wave was in the water, the lead pro men and women were already exiting the swim, which was pretty cool. I have to say, I'm glad I didn't have a helicopter flying over my head the whole time, but I'm sure it made for some great film footage! The water was murky, smelly and 83 degrees. Damn, I wish I wasn't so used to clear, crisp mountain water! The swim was a little brutal, I've never been pulled on so much in my life! Other than that, it was a typical swim...it took forever because I was slow!

Anyway, I quickly made it thru T-1 and was on the road! The ride was amazing! I loved it :)
But something just didn't seem right. I knew I should have been faster than the people I was around, but I just couldn't drop them. I looked at my tires to see if they were flat, and they looked fine, so I just kept plugging away. By the time I got to T-2, I was a good 20 minutes off my goal...huh. No idea how that is possible, I felt like I was riding pretty hard.

As I headed out on the run, I can't even describe how I felt...but it was NOT awesome. My legs felt like they were going to buckle, I had no power. I was toast. OMG, really? I had done all that training to get to Vegas and my legs have nothing? Something wasn't right, but all I needed to do at that point was not worry too much about it and just try to keep going. Forward. I saw my family as I headed out and tried to keep my head up, but by the time I saw them again 1/2 way thru the first loop, I broke down in tears. Ryan was trying to be positive and motivating, but I couldn't handle it. I knew if I looked at anyone resembling comfort I would want to hug them and never let go. I felt weak, but I didn't want to quit. So, I kept my head down and kept plugging away, hoping I would feel better. I ended up walking all the aid stations, yes ALL the aid stations. And yes it was hot, over 100 degrees, but I don't think I noticed the heat at all on the run. I just couldn't figure out what had happened to me. Thankfully I finished the run, more than 20 minutes off my run goal. Crap.

So, I had a bad race. It just didn't feel right, something wasn't adding up. Then later, when I grabbed my bike to start packing it, I tried to spin the rear wheel. URCH! URCH! What the....? My brake was rubbing so bad I couldn't even spin the wheel. My stomach sank. That would explain everything. Why I was working SO hard on the bike to come in so far off my goal...and then had NOTHING left for the run.

Great. So that voice who told me to quickly run thru my gears and everything 10 seconds before transition closed knew what they were talking about. And that voice that said something wasn't right while I was out on the bike course, knew what they were talking about. The only voice I wasn't listening to was my own. Lesson learned. Why do I always have to do things the hard way?!?!?! UGH!!

A BIG thank you to all my supporters. Ryan <3 all="all" and="and" base="base" believe="believe" best="best" bobby="bobby" brooks="brooks" brother="brother" clif="clif" coach="coach" coaching="coaching" dad="dad" efficiently="efficiently" ever.="ever." family="family" for="for" friends="friends" game.="game." gear="gear" globe="globe" happy="happy" helped="helped" i="i" it="it" izumi="izumi" jason="jason" jeff="jeff" jerbear="jerbear" josh="josh" luna="luna" made="made" mcgee="mcgee" me="me" mental="mental" mom="mom" more="more" my="my" nbsp="nbsp" nephew="nephew" nieces="nieces" nike="nike" not="not" nuun="nuun" on="on" or="or" out="out" over="over" pearl="pearl" performance="performance" polar="polar" racing:="racing:" rcx5="rcx5" rely="rely" run="run" sister-in-law="sister-in-law" sort="sort" specialized="specialized" step-dad="step-dad" supportive="supportive" thanks="thanks" the="the" to="to" training="training" tri-cities="tri-cities" trip="trip" tyr="tyr" vegas.="vegas." water.="water." wenatchee="wenatchee" who="who" zipp="zipp">
I could not be more ready for some good MUD therapy! Bring on Cylcoross! But first - Hood River Hops Fest :)