I have been struck by a flood of inspiration today, and as I went to write this, I decided to take a look at the news. Out of all the articles I read through, the one I can't get out of my mind is Nicole Sherzinger speaking out about her bulimia. For the past few hours, my good mood, filled with hope and inspiration has had a dark cloud over it, that I just can't shake. I don't know Nicole personally, but I can't help but feel heartbroken.
It's interesting that Nicole is a person so publicly celebrated for her beauty, yet for some time, all she could focus on was the distorted self perception that she faced every time she looked in the mirror.
As I was reading it, I was struck by a memory I have of when I really started to turn the corner with my eating disorder. Sure, I had been "eating" and had recovered to a more "healthy weight", but hadn't really done any of the work to recover. I was looking through pictures of a race, and I came across someone running and said, "Wow, I wish I had legs like that!". The person that I was with just gave me this funny look and said, "Um, that IS you."
Ha, ha...oh....REALLY?!?! You mean, I was punishing myself everyday...working out, restricting calories, hiding in baggy clothes, telling myself very awful things over and over...so that I could be what? The person that I already was. I was hiding behind what seemed like an infinite wall of shame and self-hatred on a journey that ultimately lead me to see that I already was the person I nearly killed myself trying to be.
Now, the tricky part is accepting that...we'll save that for a different day.
Sure, I'm no Nicole Sherzinger, but do you see the point?
What if we all had the opportunity to actually see ourselves for what we really are? Would we be impressed? Do yourself a favor. Today, I want you to block your mind of all the things you have yet to accomplish. I want you to sit down and write all the things you HAVE accomplished, all the goals you've achieved, all the fears you've conquered. Write those down on a list and post it right next to your mirror, and smile. Go ahead, I dare you. And when you achieve your next goal, ad it to the list. You are more beautiful, more kind, more smart, more wonderful than you have ever given yourself credit for.
Start seeing yourself for who you really are, see what the world already sees in you.